Yay for survival!  My friend Maxine posted that on facebook the other day.  After I read it, I decided that those words describe exactly how I feel.  Yay for survival!!!!!  I had chemo again, for the second time on Tuesday, July 19th and it has been tough getting to where I am feeling now.  I felt so terrible, to the point where I felt like I'd never get through it, and now I'm starting to feel like I'm going to live and it's just so nice to be on the other side of the fence...the side where you feel like you're going to be be okay and survive.  Yay for survival indeed!

I'll try to be happy and share the happier aspects of what I'm going through, but I have to warn you that this time my experiences were a lot more depressing.  I will TRY to be happy though. 

When I went in on Tuesday I was one of the first to arrive and one of the last to depart, just like last time.  The chemo room was really busy.  I've never seen so many people getting treatment at the same time before.  People had a tough time finding a seat and the nurses were really running around, trying to keep up with the work load.  It was an amazing thing to watch those nurses.  They could begin a topic of conversation with one person, leave and go away for awhile and come back and pick up right where they had left off, without missing a beat.  They laughed, kept people informed, visited, kept up with their work, and kept that busy room working like a finely oiled machine.  I think they must have been the best nurses.  I don't think anyone could have done what they did.  It was very impressive! 

There were a lot of nice patients there.  The saddest part this time was how sick all the patients were.  EVERYONE was REALLY, REALLY, REALLY sick!!!  Since they were sick I couldn't chat with them.  It was too painful for them to talk and I could tell everyone was in a lot of pain.  It made me want to cry sitting in that room with so many suffering people.  Usually they give me my Benadryl at the beginning so I fall asleep right away.  This time they waiting a little while, so I was REALLY grateful when that Benadryl came, to give me a break from all the sadness in the room. 

I tried to be happy.  I kept thinking that maybe I was there to just smile at people and maybe that would make them feel better....so that's what I did all day...smile at anyone and anybody who would look at me.  Thankfully one of the male nurses would laugh with me when he could.  Those few laughs were the best parts. 

Since I couldn't chat and visit with my fellow cancer buddies I had to entertain myself ALL DAY!  When I say how bored I was I am NOT kidding.  Entertaining myself all day, cooped up in one spot, is a recipe for me to go bananas.  Thankfully I brought my bag of things to do so I had stuff to do.  I had my ipad.  I used that most of the time.  I decided to buy one after I found out I had cancer.  I figured I deserved one since I had to go through all of this yuck.  So I spent my time listening to music, reading e-books, playing games, facebooking, and doing stuff like that. 

The activity I liked best was playing the game Angry Birds.  It felt good to break glass and knock over things.  My blood pressure likes to go kind of low during treatment, low enough that they tell me they'll have to stop if it goes any lower, but I noticed if I played that game my blood pressure would go up so I played it partly because it was fun and partly to keep my blood pressure up.  I didn't want to come back for another round on another day!  I also found that I liked to listen to the Hamster Dance song.  Its a kid's song, but it helped to listen to it's happy rhythm.  So I played Angry Birds and rocked out to the Hamster Dance.  I guess I need to import more songs for next time.  If anyone has song or game suggestions, please send them to me on facebook.  I'm looking for something new...for next time. 

Well, treatment finally ended!!  Yay!   I was really glad when it was time to go home.  My parents picked me up and we went home.  Last time I felt pretty good at the end of treatment, but this time I felt yucky so we went home directly.  When we got home a surprise was waiting for me!!!!  My sweet student Kamryn had left me a gift by my door again.  I was so surprised and delighted!  It was the best part of my depressing day Kamryn.  It really was.  Thank you so much!  Anyways, I opened it and inside was the most beautiful quilt ever.  It has a happy polka dot pattern with hot pink ties and it is so soft, like a really big pillow, and it is just the right size.  Anyways, I LOVE it!  On the card it said that Kamryn wanted to make me a quilt right after she found out how sick I was, because her quilt gave her so much comfort and she wanted me to have that same comfort while I was feeling sick, and her mom said she took such great care finding just the right fabric and trimmings.  It is such a sweet gift!  I can't believe how sweet kids are.  I'm so proud of you Kamryn!  You sure are a sweetheart.  Thanks for being the bright spot in my day.  I spent the rest of the week cuddling your blanket.  It hasn't been far from me.  I've been stuck to it like glue.  The best part is knowing it was made with love.  I'm going to treasure it all my life.  It made me feel loved and it really helped me to get through the yucky parts of all this cancer stuff.  Oh, and thank you for the lime green lymphoma bracelet.  I noticed you found a way to put green in my quilt too.  That was really thoughtful of  you guys.  The bracelet fits perfectly and I really wanted one.  Thanks ever so much!

So...boring as it sounds that's what I've been doing....sleeping mostly, feeling very sick, and cuddling my precious blanket.  My routine was like this: wake up, take my barfy medicine, go back to bed, mom would sit by me and hold my hand, sometimes she'd talk and other times we'd just be quiet together, and she'd stay with me while I slept.  That's how I spent my time.  Thankfully I was able to sleep a lot.  Last time I didn't sleep as much and it was a lot harder.  It's a lot easier if you sleep a lot.  That's my advice.  Anyways, I cried a lot on the hard days and now I'm going to be happy and start smiling more since I'm beginning to feel much better.  I'm not completely recovered yet, but I'm improving.  I'm still a little weak, but I'm on the mend and that is what is most important.

I discovered two things this time.  One is a trick of getting myself to swallow the awful medicine they give me.  If you have pills that you find have an unpleasant taste you might want to try this.  I found that if I took a tortilla with a little melted cheese and hid a pill in it, I could swallow it without having to taste the yucky pill.  THIS has been a blessing in terms of discoveries.  You have to cut the tortilla small enough to swallow it whole though or it won't work.

The other thing I discovered was my hair is REALLY falling out now.  Boo hoo!  I found it out when I woke up to hundreds of tiny hairs on my pillowcase.  It really was sad.  Thankfully my mom helped me to shave my head again.  It doesn't look very perfectly shaved yet, but at least there aren't as many itchy hairs on my pillowcase.  So, I'm looking more and more like Mr. Clean every day.  :(  I'm sure I'll find a positive about this later.  I'm just not feeling so positive about my baldness at the moment.

Well, there you have it.  There's my update.  I told my mom I need to go to Wyoming now.  I'm needing some lovin' from my nieces and nephews who live there.  They always hug and kiss me to death and I think I need that right now.  So, if I can persuade my parents...that's what I want to do next.  Well, adios...until next time.  :)  Thank you for your love, support, and prayers.  I feel grateful to have so many loving people in my life.