I seem to be adjusting to the itching.  It's either getting better or I'm tolerating it more than I was yesterday.  I am extremely grateful!  Now I'm trying to adjust to the port-a-cath.  I don't like it very much because it doesn't feel very good.  It puts pressure on my chest and it's uncomfortable.  I worry every night that I'll roll over onto it, so I am not sleeping very well.  Tonight I'm sleeping in the recliner.  Maybe that will stop me from rolling over.  I miss sleeping on my stomach too.  I tried to lay on my stomach last night and that kind-of hurt.  I hope I get used to this thing.  So far I am not in love with it. :(

I'm a little sad and worried about my first chemo session this Thursday.  I'm sad that I HAVE to do this.  I feel like someone is making me ride a scary roller coaster ride that I don't want to ride.  It's hard feeling like I don't have a choice and that I HAVE to have cancer.  I hope I can handle the chemo and find more peace about going through this.  It just feels scary now and hopefully it'll be less worrisome later.  Thank you everyone for being so kind and supportive.  I talked to my niece Melanie yesterday.  She sure is a cute kid.  I think being around kids is the best medicine for what ails ya.  I know it made me feel good to just talk to her.  Be as a little child.....seems I've been told that somewhere before.  :)  I need to remember to be "submissive, meek, patient, full of love, (and) willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him(me), even as a child doth submit to his father."  I guess I have to accept this.  It's just so hard.  :)