I need to focus on building a "mansion in heaven", because the potential of it ever happening on earth is ridiculous. Seriously! I can't afford squat! The house hunt is not going very well. Basically we've seen every scary house within two counties and very few winners or contenders. I went to work today feeling pretty discouraged about the whole thing. I knew that it was going to be hard, but I had no idea that it was going to be THIS hard.
Everything in my price range is basically awful and when I go just over my price range, I find houses that are livable but they are too expensive. It's discouraging as well because I found a house I like. It's close to work, it has main floor living for my parents, a sunlight basement for me, lots of storage, flat terrain, a GARAGE, a nice backyard, it faces WEST, and it doesn't need a lot of repair work or updates. It's probably out of reach though. Sigh.... It sure is sad. I'm not sure where we'll end up. Dad is practicing stairs during physical therapy, but I don't know if it's something that he'll ever be super good at. It sure would be nice to find a place.
It seems like everything is super stressful right now in my life. I haven't even mentioned all of it. It's just TOO much! I'll try to leave it at that. I don't want to get to into it. Basically...life is tough for me right now. I'll get through it. I know I will. It's just hard is all. Someone told me that our trials are sometimes our greatest blessings, even though we don't see it at the time. I can see how that's true, but I've had enough of that particular type of blessing. I need a break!
Last night I had a fun experience. My nephew from Wyoming called on the phone to visit. He's in fifth grade I guess. He told his parents he wanted to talk to me so they let him call me. We must have talked for a half an hour. This is a quiet kid I tell ya and he never calls on the phone to just talk. I was amazed that he talked so long to me and I felt so special that he would choose to call me. I felt so loved. It was so neat. We had a wonderful conversation and at one point we talked about grandpa. I'll call my nephew D. D said, "Do you think grandpa remembers how to play chess?". I was so touched by his question and the sentiment that went along with it. He's worrying that grandpa won't remember how to do it. That was their special time...playing chess together. Mom asked dad if he remembered how to play and he said he didn't know, but he hoped he could. Grandkids and nieces and nephews are so precious.
After the phone call with D was over, I talked with his mom about the house hunt. She could hear how frustrated I was with all of the awful houses so she invited me to live with her. It's a good thing I have sisters...I tell ya. They are good at being sympathetic and caring. So that's the plan for now. If in the event that I am homeless...I will live in Wyoming with my sister, and then travel to work everyday to Willard, because after all....as my six year old niece A says, "you have a caw". She doesn't say her r's all that well. She always tells me to live by or with her and when I explain that I have to go home because of work, she always seems confused and then tells me that I can live with her and still work in Utah because I have a "caw", which means car. Of course it's way too scary for me to drive through all of those canyons in the winter to get to work, but to her six year old mind, she thinks it makes perfect sense. Maybe her dreams will come true. Maybe I will have to live with my sister if this house hunting doesn't work out. Grr! I wish house hunting was easier.
Tomorrow is Saturday. I'm going to spend the day doing stuff for school and I need to rest for me. I wanted to go to see my mom and dad, but I have too much to do this weekend. It's sad, but maybe I'll get to see them next week. Until then...I hope I can be very effective with my time. Well, adios.
