I'm feeling a lot better lately!  The four days following treatment were my worst days.  The symptoms began very suddenly and were very intense as soon as the started.  On the first day it wasn't bad because I slept as soon as I got home.  The second day I felt good in the morning and then my symptoms drastically changed and I felt horrible after that.  I felt nauseated, extreme fatigue, aching, couldn't keep my head up, my senses were all wacked out, and food just tasted yucky, etc, etc, etc...  Only one word describes how I felt:  AWFUL!!   The yucky feelings felt even more horrible on Saturday and Sunday.  On Sunday I thought it would never end and that chemo just wasn't worth it.  I had reached my limit on Sunday and I didn't see how I would be able to do this again in a couple of weeks, but thankfully things started to get better and I did survive the whole mess.   

On the fourth of July (the fifth day) I woke up feeling pretty good and when I realized I was feeling better we decided to visit family.  We went to visit a couple of my sisters and I had such a good time.  I still felt a little weak, but the outing was wonderful.  It really lifted my spirits to get out of the house and I enjoyed seeing all the beautiful things outside.  I kept thinking the whole time that the grass never looked greener, the mountains never looked prettier, etc, etc, etc....  I was in a state of grandious appreciation for LIFE and all things living because I was starting to feel like I was alive and going to make it through all of the unpleasantness. 

While I was visiting my sisters I decided to cut my hair.  There were many reasons why I chose to do it, but one of the reasons was having my sisters nearby for love and support.  I wasn't sure if I would be emotional and I really needed my sisters to tell me that it looked nice and stuff like that.  Coincidentally I was really proud of my sister Dianna.  She's known for her quick wit and she didn't tease me.  Thanks Dianna!  Anyways, we buzzed it as short as we could at one sister's house and then finished it off at the other sister's house because she had sharper clippers and was willing to shave it for me.

I have to mention how sweet and tender everyone was when they did my hair.  My sister Julie and her husband Scott carefully and lovingly shaved my head until nothing was there.  They were so careful and loving and it was quite sweet of them.  While they shaved my head, my niece Sarah supported me by talking and laughing with me.  She had me so distracted with our chat that I didn't even think about what was going on with my head.  Thanks Sarah!  As they cut my hair I thought about the Savior and how people would wash his feet...not a real desirable job, but they did it lovingly as a way to show love and all that.  I think it was really sweet of Julie and Scott to shave my head for me.  I think I'll always treasure the experience and how it made me feel.  I also have to give credit to my mom.  She wasn't ready to cut my hair, but she cut the major length off for me.  She was pretty funny as she cut it off.  I think she held her breath most of the time.  She also had a very tender and loving touch as she cut my hair.  Thanks mom! 

So now I'm bald!  I have a little shadow of where my hair used to be, but it's cut pretty close to the scalp.  My sisters, brother-in-law, nieces, nephews, and parents said a lot of nice things about my bald head, which made me feel good, but I still think it looks a little silly.  I've always had a lot of hair so it's a new look and quite a surprising one at that.  Every time I look in the mirror I get a big shock.  I'm okay with my head being bald.  I'd rather have hair, but it was going to fall out anyways so it had to  happen.  I decided to cut it now instead of waiting for it to fall out.  I know it would have been more emotional for me to see big clumps of hair falling out every day so it's good that I cut it now. 

I'm not sure I love all aspects of baldness, but there are definite advantages.  I can get ready really fast now and I'm not as warm.  There's a nice breeze on my head and it's nice for warm summer days.  I've decided I need to suntan a bit on my scalp however.  A white scalp next to a tan face is not a great look for me so I'll be spending some time outside in hopes of browning up a bit.  Another advantage is all the money I'll save that I would have spent on hair stuff. 

I haven't decided whether I'll wear a wig or a hat or just be bald.  So far I'm going with the bald look and my mom thinks I'm very brave.  :)  In fact when I left the house this morning, she and my dad had a long discussion about whether or not I left the house with a hat on.  They couldn't remember.  Anyways, mom says I'm brave.  I think that's cute.  I'm just going with it for now.  Embrace it and move on...that's the plan.  Plus it's hard to complain about something as silly as hair when so many people are suffering more than I am and hair just isn't a big deal when you think of what the real goal is....to just LIVE and beat this. 

So, I'm bald and feeling a lot better physically.  I still feel weak and/or light-headed sometimes, but I feel good a lot too so that's what I'm focusing on.  In two more weeks I'll go back and do the whole chemo treatment over again.  I can't say that I'm excited to do it again.  It's definitely a very hard and awful thing to have to go through.  I wouldn't do it again if I had a choice, but I don't have a choice so I'll just make the best of it.  Anyways, thank you everyone for all of your words of encouragement and for the prayers.  On Sunday I really thought about your prayers and they gave me the extra support I needed to endure that awful day.  So, thanks everyone!  I appreciate all of you.