Now that my cancer is gone I'll post about my life and what's going on with my parents, and IF my cancer comes back I'll mention it here on my blog. I'll also give you updates about my follow-up appointments so you'll know what's happening. So far I've had my port-a-cath flushed, which basically means it has been cleaned. I'll do that every four weeks and then I'll go in for a follow-up appointment in three months. We'll keep the port-a-cath in place just in case I need it later.
Our family has been quite busy lately and many people have wondered how we are doing so I thought I'd write about our newest experiences. I'll try to write more about what is happening in later posts. Mom is hoping that this will help to keep everyone informed.
On October 27th, the same day as my PET scan, I came home and discovered that my dad had suffered a stroke. We got him to McKay Dee Hospital and they confirmed our suspicions that it was in fact a stroke.
The hospital took great care of us. We had wonderful doctors, nurses, surgeons, and therapists. They helped us to get through the hard times and see the potential for a future. They gave us the facts that were hard to hear, but also provided encouragement and support. The doctors and nurses spoke highly of dad's improvements and told us they were impressed with his progression. He really worked hard and we all felt encouraged by what the encouraging words we heard.
Dad impressed me by how hard he worked. When something was hard for him he didn't give up. He practiced difficult tasks over and over again until he could do them. I hope that when I'm faced with something difficult that I can remember work as hard as he has. It's always impressive seeing how people get through the hard times. It was a special experience seeing my dad fight as he did.
When we first arrived at the hospital dad couldn't really talk. He was confused and had an "out to lunch" expression. He seemed to know who mom was but that was about it. As time passed he improved in other areas. He began to say yes or no to our questions and he began to regain partial function of his right arm and leg. At first he could only move the left side of his body. The blood clot hit the left side of his brain so his right side was the side that was most damaged.
With time his eyes began to shine and sparkle like our regular pre-stroke dad. His speech began to get better and his sense of humor began to resurface. The yes and no replies changed to two or three word utterances and then to full sentences. One of the big turning points was the day his Home Teachers came to visit. He talked so much that my mom and I couldn't help but cry. The words the Home Teachers said were inspired as well. We needed to hear what they said. I kept telling myself that the Home Teachers needed to come every day so he could progress even more. Thank you Home Teachers! We really feel that their visit was a huge blessing!
We began to see that he was "in there" and that he was able to understand what we were saying. It seems like it took forever to get to that point, but it happened and we're so happy fo this big blessing. One interesting observation for us was dad's choice of speech. He choses big words to express himself. The nurses and doctors felt agreed that he talked like an engineer (his profession). We got a big kick out of his word choices. It is like being with a child whose learning how to talk. Every word is exciting because they are learning to say things for the first time. We were excited like that and felt happy that we could see his personality again.
Dad couldn't say our names at first. He knew mom's name pretty quickly and would say she was his sweetheart, but he struggled with everyone else's name. He made me laugh one day when I asked him what my name was. He had to pause and think, a thing he still does, but he finally called me Miss Davis instead of saying my name. I smiled and laughed at his response because it was a cute reply since he knows I love teaching so much. He has been able to say my name since then and on occasion he's told me that he loves me and has expressed how proud he is of me. He used to say that before the stroke, but it's especially nice that he can still say it. He was very happy that my cancer was gone. He said to my mom that maybe he could overcome his challenges if I had overcome mine, but he said it in his own way. It was a really special moment for me. I wanted him to know I was okay.
The doctor said that he wouldn't operate on dad at first. His arteries were too blocked and he was too big of a risk. The numbers seemed to change, but before surgery the doctor said that each artery was 99% blocked. I'll stick to that number, but just understand that this number seemed to change often. He said that if dad had another stroke, that it WOULD kill him so we were quite scared and sad.
As dad improved and as the doctors and nurses witnessed his desire to work and observed his improvement, they re-evaluated him and decided to offer dad the opportunity of having the surgery, but with the understanding that it was very risky and that death was a possibility. Mom and dad decided they wanted to do the surgery and all of us kids supported their decision. Dad understood the risks too. Once he told someone that he might die from the surgery or die without it, but he wanted to have the surgery and hoped that he would live. He was willing to take the chance. He said it in his own way though, but that's the general idea.
On mom's birthday, November 18th, they operated and worked on clearing his left carotid artery. The surgery took about two hours, and then he was in recovery for an hour after that so we waited for three hours to see if he would survive. It was a long wait! Craig, Saroya, Dianna, Julie, mom, and I sat in the waiting room and then the doctor called us into a room to talk to us when it was over. He told us about many things, but basically he said that the operation was successful. Mom said she was extremely happy and she cried a lot. She kept telling us that this was easier for her with us there. I think we all got a bit teary with the whole situation. This was a great moment for us. Our prayers were definitely answered. Mom is still feeling appreciative that he's been spared to live a little longer and we all share in those feelings. We are all happy and thankful that he's alive. We all love him so much!
Dad stayed in the hospital until he was stabilized from the surgery and when the doctor deemed him fit for release we whisked him away. Dad wanted out of the hospital too. He likes being home and that's where he wanted to go. He was pretty funny about it. He didn't want to wait for all the paperwork. :) He wanted to go as soon as we arrived! So....on November 19th around noon they released him from the hospital and then Craig, Saroya, mom and I took him to my sister Dianna's house. He'll be there with mom for awhile, for how long we don't know.
On a side note I have to say that it was quite complimentary that ALL of us kids wanted them to come to our houses to live with us. I know of families that squabble that they don't want their parents living with them, but I thought it was cool that EVERYONE wanted them....even if it was forever. Dianna was chosen because of her house and because of her skills, and for other reasons. Her house is wheelchair accessible and perfect for dad. They'll stay there for awhile and then we'll wait and see about the rest later. For now we'll just be glad that he's home.
In two weeks he'll have another appointment with his surgeon for a check-up. They'll probably discuss when and if they are going to do the same surgery on the right carotid artery. Until then he's going to be cared for by Dianna and mom and all of the family in Salt Lake area. He has a huge scar on his neck where they cut him open. They have to watch that to make sure it doesn't get infected and they'll have help from a home health care nurse and a physical therapist that'll come to the house. So....that's the plan for now.
This experience has been hard for my family and for me too, but in our typical family fashion, we've all pulled together and helped each other in our strong family way. The family members have helped wherever there has been a need. It's quite touching actually. It makes me happy to see our family rally like this. I think if you can look back on your life and see that your kids have worked together as nicely, you would think that you've done a good job with your kids. Mom has been really touched by how helpful her kids have been. She often gets emotional about it. Hopefully we'll continue to work together like we have.
The doctor said that dad will need to be very careful. He still at risk of having another stroke and yes it could be fatal. He said to keep sick people away, or anyone who might be carrying any kind of illness...so that's what we have to worry about.
The surgery doesn't reverse any of the stroke side-effects. Dad will still struggle and he needs help, but with that being said I need to say that we are just thankful for what he CAN do and we're not dwelling on what he can't do.
He can walk with assistance, but I think he'll soon be able to walk all by himself. He's just a little slow and he shuffles more than he used to. He can sit up from the sitting position easily. Mom and I think he does that better now than he did before the stroke. He makes it look easy. He can feed himself with his left hand, but he spills a little and it takes a lot of effort and concentration. His eyes are partially blind....the extent of which we are not certain. We all hope his vision will come back. As a result of the blindness he bumps into things. He can shower and do bathroom things by himself. He can lift his right arm and his right leg. His biggest challenges are that of moving his right fingers. He can move the thumb pretty good, but the rest of the hand is still very limp. Hopefully he'll be able to improve those muscles with time. Dad can talk pretty good. He struggles to find the words he wants to use. Sometimes the words get stuck in his head and he just can't get them out. We're happy with the speech he has though.
Life is looking better in other ways. We've been blessed a great deal in the past week or two. We still have many difficult challenges ahead, but with a loving Heavenly Father watching over us we can get through these hard times. On facebook I mentioned that I was glad that he was alive and that it didn't matter if he wasn't able to do things like he could before. I still feel the same way. It's okay that he can't talk like he used to and it's okay that he is different than he was before. I'm just grateful and happy that he's alive. I tell him often that I love him. I'm glad I can still do that. I'm glad we have more time together. We're all grateful for this this special time we've been given.
Many people have asked about mom. She's doing as well as you can imagine. It's been very hard on her. She is dad's best friend and they dearly love each other. She missed him while he was in the hospital and grieved and cried a lot while he was going through this. She slept by his side last night and felt happy and grateful that she could be with him. Their new motto is that "home is wherever they are together" and so I'm happy to announce that dad is home!!!!! I'm a little sad that he's not with me, but that's okay. I'll get to see them on the weekends and the doctors and therapists and nurses say he might be able to come Home, Home soon. We'll have to wait and see. We'll work out all of those problems later. For now I am just thankful that he is alright and that he is home.
Thanks for caring about us. We will get through this. Thank you for your prayers. We still have a lot of battles to face, but hopefully things will improve. Have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING! We have a lot to be thankful for this year! This year I am thankful for my dad and for my family. I'm thankful he is alive and I'm thankful that I have the opportunity to tell him how much he means to me. I love you dad!
