My fourth treatment is over and I have two more to go. I hope all of these treatments are working. That's always my greatest concern. It's nice to have four finished though. All I can think of now is how I have two more to go. I have mixed feelings. I am grateful there are just two left and I also feel sad that I have to go through this two more times. I'm going to TRY to think of it in the positive light, but it's going to be difficult. October feels like a very long time from now.

I'm doing pretty good. My doctor talked with me for awhile before my treatment. He was enthusiastic about how well I am doing. He told me I was doing really good and that made me happy. I'm glad he feels so encouraged. It helps me to feel good about my progress. With so many patients struggling, it must be nice for him to have a chance to give good news. I think he gives encouragement to everybody though, and I am grateful for the encouragement he gives to me. I believe he is sincere. I AM doing pretty well for what I'm going through.

Chemo is much the same. It's still yucky and unpleasant, but I am managing. I've decided that sleep is a great blessing. When I sleep it helps me survive and get through the yucky parts. I can't feel the side-effects as much when I'm asleep. It makes the time pass quickly too and that's a good thing. I've been sleeping more at the hospital when I'm recieving my infusions too. So sleep is good!

I am still meeting wonderful people. This time was no exception. I met a woman two years older than me, who had both breasts removed because of breast cancer. We had such a long talk. It was her last day of chemo actually. She might have to continue if the cancer is still present, but she's reached the end of one milestone anyways. Yay! I'm happy for her and I hope that her tests show that her cancer is gone.

I also saw some of my old friends. Sadly, many of them looked very frail. One of my favorite spunky ones was feeling rather miserable and weak. I felt so bad for her! She impressed me though. She still made us laugh and had a smile to share and an encouraging word to give. She could have focused on herself and how miserable she was feeling, but she focused on loving everyone around her instead. What a great lady! She was sad when I had to go, because I was leaving before her. It's sad when your chatting buddy leaves. It's amazing to me how you can become friends with people so quickly in those treatment rooms. It's really quite amazing!

I met many great people and had many wonderful conversations. Some had tear filled eyes and others had smiles as big as could be. One of my favorite conversations was with a happy woman I met during my very first visit. She didn't remember me, but I remembered her. She gave me my first smile and talked with me and gave me some good tips. Anyways, the reason I liked our visit as much as I did was because of how funny she reacted to my bald head. She asked me repeatedly if I walked around without a hat or wig on all the time and was amazed when I said that I did. She must have asked me at least three or four times. I guess it IS hard to believe. She was so impressed and excited about my baldness that she took off her hat and we talked about her new hair. She has a lot of beautiful white hair growing in and she's super excited about it.

So some conversations are sad and others are happy. Overall it's just nice to have friends that are there to support you, even if it's only for an hour or two. It makes me feel less alone and I feel encouraged by what they say and do. One old guy did a cute little dance walking to his seat after using the bathroom. It's not a big thing, but it made us laugh. I'm grateful for those laughs. Any laughs are good.

During my treatment I had a special visitor visit me. Remember the grandmother I met on one of my first visits? She's the grandmother of two of my former students. Yep, it was her! She came to visit so I wouldn't have to be there so long by myself. Isn't that sweet? She brought me a gift too. We laughed and visited and it sure was nice. She still has a perpetual smile on her face. I think smiles are very encouraging. I don't think I appreciated them as much before like I do now. Thanks for being such a good role model to me Deeann. Thank you for coming in to chat with me. It was such a treat! I just love you to pieces.

I wasn't at the hospital as long this time. It was still forever long, but I wasn't the last one there. It was weird to be done before other people. I was there the longest, but I wasn't the last! Seems silly to be so excited about that, but I am! I guess the treatments go faster when they see how you react to them. Since I'm not having any bad reactions they can infuse the meds into me faster. I'm okay with that.

My mom picked me up when it was time to go and when I got home another gift was waiting for me from my sweet Kamryn. She gave me PJ's with a big heart on the shirt with the words, "Ofa atu" written on it. It was so sweet I just about cried. I always say that to my kids when they leave every day so they'll know I love them. Ofa atu means I love you in Tongan. I picked it up from a lady in Wyoming. She says it to her kids in parting and so I say it to mine now. Ofa atu Kamryn!!! Thank you for ALWAYS being the bright spot on my chemo days!!! I love that family! I hope I can be as sweet to someone someday as they have been to me.

I'm feeling very blessed. I don't know what the outcome will be at the end of all of this, but I feel grateful that I've met so many wonderful people and that I've experienced being served by such king people. It's nice to be loved and it really does help. Thank you to everyone for anything you've done to help me. A hug, a smile, a note, a gift, a anything!!! All of your kind acts have helped. Thank you!

My brain feels a little like mush so I think I'll close now. I just wanted everyone to know that I'm okay. I'm feeling yucky and weak, but I'm okay.